Life Changer

So the secret's out. Clay Aiken is gay. My idol... my hero... my role model... my reason for living. The article says that he knew it when he was in college. I'm disappointed that he would lie to his faithful fans. On the other hand, he might not have been ready to let it out. I just don't understand how such an issue could be so hurtful.

I guess that the real reason I'm upset is because, since he released his first album, I've been defending him against everyone I knew. It's hard to accept that someone that you trusted and idolized for the majority of your youth, wasn't who you thought he was. I'm offended in a matter or speaking, yet I sympathize with him. I have been ridiculed since the eighth grade, and still am today. It's just not fair sometimes.

I'm at one of those points in my life where I can only wonder why something like this would happen to me. I try so hard to be kind and generous to people. I help them with their problems. I give advice and care about it. I just don't know why me of all people would have this happen. It's crazy! I'm left alone in this world. Knowing that he lied to me, I have no more hope of that honesty I long for. Those of you who know me personally know how big a part Clay played in my life.

I still like Clay. I will not abandon him for his choice because I would expect the same if I were to choose such a thing. I just wish he would have told us this sooner. It hurt so many people to the bone, and I just hope that he thinks that he has done the right thing.

KNZ