I have had several experiences of this. Friends that you've known for a long while who always claim to be there, but when you need them most they've disappeared.
I am always there for people when they need me. I have my cell phone on 24/7 and under my pillow at night so that it can wake me up when someone needs to talk. People always like to come to me for advice. I don't know why they come to me, but I'm there for them. I help them no matter how tired I am, or how early I have to wake up the next morning.
I guess I just don't understand why, when I need help or someone to talk to, no one is there to text me back or answer their phone. I guess it doesn't really matter does it?
I, for one, will go on helping people even if I never get help.
I'm not calling anyone specific out because I have a good many 'friends' that do this to me.
I just wanted to put this out there and vent a little bit, so no one get mad at me. Also if you ask me if it's you, even if it is, I will say "No". I don't want to hurt feelings. Those of you who are these 'friends' should know who you are anyways.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Kasandra's Surprise Party
Last night was so awesome! Earlier in the week, Kasandra's friend, Laura, IMed me on Facebook and asked me to come to her house Friday night at 9 for a surprise birthday party for Kasandra. I accepted of course and Eli was invited too.
Friday came and I made Kasandra a cute little card with some old pictures of us. When it got to be about 30 minutes before I left, Eli called and said that he just wasn't going to go. That sucked and I got kind of pissed, but I went anyways. When I got there, we pretty much just sat around and waited for Kasandra and Laura to get there. They had gone downtown for the night. While we were waiting, Kasandra called me. Everyone told me not to answer it, but then she called me again. I quickly went outside and answered. She had just driven past my house and wanted to stop by and say "Hello", but I told her that I was out for the night. So we hung up and they arrived a while later.
The lot of us hid around the living room before she waltzed in and we flung on the lights and shouted "Surprise!". Her face was in complete and total shock! She just kind of stood there for a moment and then started greeting people. When she saw me she began to laugh so hard. She was surprised that she had just called me and I was out for the night, just to surprise her!
Anyways, I gave her the card that I made for her and she loved it. She cried when she opened it. It just had 'Friends are Friends Forever' lyrics by Michael W. Smith in it and a little thing that I wrote to her. It had a couple of pictures in it as well. Some older pictures and some newer ones.
We played some games and ate some cake that Laura had made herself. It was really delicious! We played charades and manhunt. I did fairly well in manhunt. I also did pretty good in charades.
Friday came and I made Kasandra a cute little card with some old pictures of us. When it got to be about 30 minutes before I left, Eli called and said that he just wasn't going to go. That sucked and I got kind of pissed, but I went anyways. When I got there, we pretty much just sat around and waited for Kasandra and Laura to get there. They had gone downtown for the night. While we were waiting, Kasandra called me. Everyone told me not to answer it, but then she called me again. I quickly went outside and answered. She had just driven past my house and wanted to stop by and say "Hello", but I told her that I was out for the night. So we hung up and they arrived a while later.
The lot of us hid around the living room before she waltzed in and we flung on the lights and shouted "Surprise!". Her face was in complete and total shock! She just kind of stood there for a moment and then started greeting people. When she saw me she began to laugh so hard. She was surprised that she had just called me and I was out for the night, just to surprise her!
Anyways, I gave her the card that I made for her and she loved it. She cried when she opened it. It just had 'Friends are Friends Forever' lyrics by Michael W. Smith in it and a little thing that I wrote to her. It had a couple of pictures in it as well. Some older pictures and some newer ones.
We played some games and ate some cake that Laura had made herself. It was really delicious! We played charades and manhunt. I did fairly well in manhunt. I also did pretty good in charades.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
G'day
Today was actually a much better day than I thought it would be. I was surprised because for the past few months or so, I haven't been able to sleep more than 5 hours per night. Today, however, I slept from midnight to about 11:30. That is 11 and a half hours of sleep. However, I woke up once around 9 or so because of some ridiculous bird tweeting outside my window. Anyways, I woke up and I had to go and pay some water bill for my Dad. Then I came home and tanned out on the deck for about half an hour. I did some push ups, sit ups, and crunches, then some flexibility exercises and then took a shower. Now I'm sitting here with wet hair and about to go and pick up those kids. It was just such a relaxing day and I loved it. Tonight I'm going to be taking my car in to get the oil thing worked on and also going to get something that I need to work on Kasandra's birthday present. I think that she's going to love it! I'm not going to say what it is on here because she might read it, but some of the people who read this already know what it is. Anyways, I have to go and pick up those kids. I also need to get Hunter his birthday present. It's very late now and I feel bad.
Monday, May 11, 2009
Braces are ghetto
Well, on Thursday the ring around one of my teeth which was used to anchor my left spring fell off. I pushed it up onto my tooth to keep it there for a while, and then called the emergency orthodontist line. A woman came in and tried to fix it, but we couldn't get the spring to compress all the way because a bit of glue got caught in it. We just simply took off the spring for the weekend.
This morning I went in at 9:30 to get the spring put back into my mouth. This one lady did it and I don't ever want her to work in my mouth ever again. She didn't seem to know what she was doing at all. Anyways, I got home and watched Last Chance Harvey and then realized that one of my brackets had come off. Well, I don't ever remember feeling the bracket coming off during that time and I think that the woman who worked on me was the one who did it. She was trying to crimp the bar to hold my spring together and I think that's when it happened.
This morning I went in at 9:30 to get the spring put back into my mouth. This one lady did it and I don't ever want her to work in my mouth ever again. She didn't seem to know what she was doing at all. Anyways, I got home and watched Last Chance Harvey and then realized that one of my brackets had come off. Well, I don't ever remember feeling the bracket coming off during that time and I think that the woman who worked on me was the one who did it. She was trying to crimp the bar to hold my spring together and I think that's when it happened.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Recital, Surprise, and Hartwell
Well, for the day of Eli and my 3 year anniversary, we had our English exam. That was a load of fun... NOT! After all of that, we didn't do anything, but I went to Kasandra's first dance recital. Her group was the very last one to perform. I thought that everything was very good. There were these three girls that very selfishly stole the show. They were some of the young treachers and they just put themselves in every dance they could. Kasandra did very well. She's in the hip-hop group. They were all very entertaining.
The next night, Eli had set up a surprise for me. He came over after work and blindfolded me in his truck. We had an agreement that if I could guess before we got there and he turned off his truck, that he would make me a painting of Clay Aiken. Well, I had my guess and it was only on the wrong side of the street. I guessed the Olive Garden on Cherrydale, but it was actually Cherrydale Cinemas. He took me to see X-Men Origins: Wolverine. It was wonderful. After the movie and when driving out of the parking lot, Kasandra called my cell phone and said that she had just seen me. So Eli and I turned around and talked to her for a few minutes. Then we went back to his house to watch P.S. I Love You. I didn't get home until a bit after 1am, but it was all cool because I was home safe.
Well, today was Mother's Day. It was pretty good. Eli brought my Mom some chocolate covered almonds and she loved them. Around 2 or so, Eli and I went to Lake Hartwell to have dinner with his Mom and Eric and some more of their family. It was very cool, but not too much, and dinner was wonderful! Eli and I think that we'll go up there camping a few times during the summer.
The next night, Eli had set up a surprise for me. He came over after work and blindfolded me in his truck. We had an agreement that if I could guess before we got there and he turned off his truck, that he would make me a painting of Clay Aiken. Well, I had my guess and it was only on the wrong side of the street. I guessed the Olive Garden on Cherrydale, but it was actually Cherrydale Cinemas. He took me to see X-Men Origins: Wolverine. It was wonderful. After the movie and when driving out of the parking lot, Kasandra called my cell phone and said that she had just seen me. So Eli and I turned around and talked to her for a few minutes. Then we went back to his house to watch P.S. I Love You. I didn't get home until a bit after 1am, but it was all cool because I was home safe.
Well, today was Mother's Day. It was pretty good. Eli brought my Mom some chocolate covered almonds and she loved them. Around 2 or so, Eli and I went to Lake Hartwell to have dinner with his Mom and Eric and some more of their family. It was very cool, but not too much, and dinner was wonderful! Eli and I think that we'll go up there camping a few times during the summer.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Hunter
Today I got to go to Hunter's house for a few hours. I was so happy to get to spend some wonderful quality time with him. We talked about what our adventures were going to consist of this coming summer. I think that we are going to try and take a trip to Florida. I'm so excited for our trip this summer. We are planning to do a few overnight camping trips as well. Anyways, we listened to a crapload of Pink Floyd. and sat outside under his deck in a small zen area and watched the rain. It was so relaxing! I loved to be with him talking about our school semesters. We were going to rollerblade but it began raining as soon as we got on the blades. Instead we sat and talked about very intellectual things.
I realized that I missed him much more than I thought that I did.
I realized that I missed him much more than I thought that I did.
HUNTER IS HOME
So... two days ago Hunter brought me some flowers! I was so happy to have him only 10 minutes away! The flowers were and still are gorgeous! He got them out of his backyard! I think that now that the guys are all back in town I will have more to write about on here.
Today I'm going to his house to hang out for a while. I believe that he's going to attempt to teach me to rollerblade. I have never stepped into a pair of those, but I think that I'll do alright. I think that Hunter might be a good teacher. I'm excited to finally spend some time with my buddy! We're going to look at my art some too. I'm going to post some photographs of my work sooner or later.
Well I have to go and pick up those kids!
Today I'm going to his house to hang out for a while. I believe that he's going to attempt to teach me to rollerblade. I have never stepped into a pair of those, but I think that I'll do alright. I think that Hunter might be a good teacher. I'm excited to finally spend some time with my buddy! We're going to look at my art some too. I'm going to post some photographs of my work sooner or later.
Well I have to go and pick up those kids!
Sunday, May 3, 2009
On the Road to El Dorado
I love my friends. Kasandra, Eli, Hunter, Justin, David, McLovin(Keith), and Josh. I haven't done much of anything with Kasandra lately and I felt like I might be losing her as a friend. Her birthday is coming up on the 13th and I've been preparing her awesome birthday present. I know that she will love it! Yesterday she called me and invited me to her first dance recital. I accepted in a heartbeat even though it's the day of Eli and my 3 year anniversary.
That brings me to my next subject. THREE YEARS!!! I'm so excited for this Friday. It's the last of my final exams, Kasandra's dance recital, and my anniversary! Even though Eli and I have 
already been through alot since January, we're finally making it to our anniversary. He said that he has a big surprise for me too!
already been through alot since January, we're finally making it to our anniversary. He said that he has a big surprise for me too! Hunter is coming home from Clark University soon and I'm so excited because I love and miss that boy! We're definitely going to go camping again this summer! Going with him and the rest of the guys last summer was absolutely amazing. Even though Keith couldn't go and we were all sad, we still had a blast. I was going through some of the picture earlier this morning and I was laughing and just wishing that I could be there with them again. His senior picture is framed on my bureau.
Justin and I have gotten closer lately I think. It makes me so happy that we have talked alot more. We have actually gone to the mall and watched a movie together. I don't think that he realizes how much it means to me but it does.
David... what to say about David? He's only the sweetest human being on the planet! I love that man more than cheese! That's right... I said man! He found a photo of me, Hunter, Keith, and him and framed it and his Mom put it in my mailbox. I now have it on my bureau with my other picture. He and I went to his prom together and I have that picture framed on my bureau as well.
Speaking of his prom. I went with Keith to that same prom. I was a shared prom date! I have that picture framed on my bureau too. Along with other pictures with them at the pool. I love him too. He and I have grown apart during the spring semester but I hope to fix that over the summer. With Hunter and David back in town from college, we're going to go to movies and downtown and have sleepovers and just do a whole bunch of stuff for fun!
Josh and I haven't been friends for almost two years. Before he moved and while he was in North Carolina, he was just mean to me all of the time. He never responded to me and he never wanted to see me when he was visiting. He messaged me on Facebook one day and apologized for everything not too long ago though. Since then, we gone to the mall and watched a movie together. It makes me happy to have my little Joshie Josh back in my life. I've missed him and his hilarious personality.
My friends are always there for me, good or bad. They listen, they help, they advice, they cheer me up. I love them all. None of them will ever know how much I love them or how much they have made my life the best that it could ever be. I can't wait to spend more time with them over the summer. Especially another camping trip with the guys!
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Happy Easter
So Easter was two days ago, but I'm going to wish everyone a Happy Easter now! I had a great one myself. Throughout the Spring Break Holiday my sisters and I cleaned our room. We must've gotten rid of three fourths of the crap that was in there. We are donating the flawless stuffed animals to the Greenville Children's Hospital and then all of the other toys and such to Miracle Hill. It got me thinking when my family went to BINGO night a few weeks ago that me and my sister Cassidy are great. Up on the stage was a huge teddie bear with a backpack. When they said that we were playing for that prize next, my Mom told us not to play because she wouldn't let us have it and me and Cassidy both said that we wanted to donate it to the Children's Hospital. It was great to know that I have rubbed off some good qualities on her. She really wants to be like me and I think that that's a good thing because I believe that I show a good example.
Monday, March 30, 2009
LET GO OF THE REIGNS
OK... so I've completely lost control of everything.
Life just seems to be a blur at the moment. Everything is speeding by faster than I can keep up. Blow after blow upon my brow in an eternal loop of knocking me to the ground. I don't know whether or not to get up anymore.
In my last post, I desribed that Eli and I had been fighting once more. We got back together after a few days and everything seemed fine again. Well, last night Eli got back from his college visit in Savannah. I'm happy for him and the fact that he found a place that he might enjoy. I want him to have a great life and everything he had ever dreamed of even if it's not with me. He told me how great it was and how laid back the environment was. He also said that it was better than Atlanta because he didn't feel like he was going to be jumped everytime he turned a corner. It was also alot more 'friendly' than Atlanta. Plus it's not far from the beach. He said that the people seemed nice and that it was much bigger than Atlanta.
He then told me that he had applied. I hope that he gets in and all... but I'm going to be going to Atlanta alone now. I asked him if Savannah had animation, but he said that I had already been accepted to Atlanta and should stay there. It feels like he doesn't even want me with him. I don't know whether to transfer anyways or not. I could do that you know. The point is that I want to be with him and it just seems that he doesn't want to be with me. Does he want me to go to Atlanta alone, where he thinks that HE of all people could be jumped at any second? I just don't know what to think about us anymore. It truly feels like he doesn't care at all.
Well, apparently his Mom feels like I "hold him back". This really cut deep when he told me this. Hold him back? Woman, I encourage him to do well in school. He wouldn't have even gotten into any of the classes that he was in this semester had I not signed him up for them myself. Hold him back? I remind him of everything that needs to be done and their deadlines. I help him to study. If I hold him back so much, then why am I even here? I lose either way. If I give him up, I'll be devastated and, if he even cares about me anymore, he will too. If I stay with him I'll continue to "hold him back".
I just can never seem to win.
Life just seems to be a blur at the moment. Everything is speeding by faster than I can keep up. Blow after blow upon my brow in an eternal loop of knocking me to the ground. I don't know whether or not to get up anymore.
In my last post, I desribed that Eli and I had been fighting once more. We got back together after a few days and everything seemed fine again. Well, last night Eli got back from his college visit in Savannah. I'm happy for him and the fact that he found a place that he might enjoy. I want him to have a great life and everything he had ever dreamed of even if it's not with me. He told me how great it was and how laid back the environment was. He also said that it was better than Atlanta because he didn't feel like he was going to be jumped everytime he turned a corner. It was also alot more 'friendly' than Atlanta. Plus it's not far from the beach. He said that the people seemed nice and that it was much bigger than Atlanta.
He then told me that he had applied. I hope that he gets in and all... but I'm going to be going to Atlanta alone now. I asked him if Savannah had animation, but he said that I had already been accepted to Atlanta and should stay there. It feels like he doesn't even want me with him. I don't know whether to transfer anyways or not. I could do that you know. The point is that I want to be with him and it just seems that he doesn't want to be with me. Does he want me to go to Atlanta alone, where he thinks that HE of all people could be jumped at any second? I just don't know what to think about us anymore. It truly feels like he doesn't care at all.
Well, apparently his Mom feels like I "hold him back". This really cut deep when he told me this. Hold him back? Woman, I encourage him to do well in school. He wouldn't have even gotten into any of the classes that he was in this semester had I not signed him up for them myself. Hold him back? I remind him of everything that needs to be done and their deadlines. I help him to study. If I hold him back so much, then why am I even here? I lose either way. If I give him up, I'll be devastated and, if he even cares about me anymore, he will too. If I stay with him I'll continue to "hold him back".
I just can never seem to win.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Have I Told You Lately...
For the past week or so, I've been following a blog called Laissezfaire Design. The woman who contributes to the blog is absolutely fascinating. Everything on that blog is just making me want to grow up and get my own home even faster. I love the interior design and other accents to the home that she goes on about and the pictures are exquisite.
Also... last night was the final straw. Eli and I broke up. I'm not sure what to take about it. I don't know if we'll stay this way or not. It was hard being in our art classes together today. We barely even spoke the entire time.
Eli had told me that this weekend, he would be going with his family to Savannah to look for some beach places to go during the summer. I found this to sound weird, but understood. Last night, I found out the truth about what he would be doing this weekend. He and his family would be going to Savannah for him to look at a college that he really wants to go to. He wants to take up illustration design. Well, when I asked him why he didn't tell me, he simply said that he didn't want to hurt my feelings. This made me infuriated. The one time that he actually CONSIDERED my feelings before lying, it wouldn't have mattered. I would've been ecstatic for him. Pursuing his dream is nothing to feel hurt or get angry about. Out of all the times that he lied about cheating on me and looking at pornography he didn't consider my feelings. When it doesn't matter he does.
Finding out that he lied to me about this made me think and wonder what kind of girlfriend I must be for him to think that I would get angry or sad to find out that he wanted to go and visit a college. I must seriously be the most bothersome and hurtful girlfriend on the planet. I broke up with him and told him that now he can find a girl that will actually not fuss at him for grades, will do what he wants to do, and won't complain about stuff all the time because that seems to be all that I do.
Also... last night was the final straw. Eli and I broke up. I'm not sure what to take about it. I don't know if we'll stay this way or not. It was hard being in our art classes together today. We barely even spoke the entire time.
Eli had told me that this weekend, he would be going with his family to Savannah to look for some beach places to go during the summer. I found this to sound weird, but understood. Last night, I found out the truth about what he would be doing this weekend. He and his family would be going to Savannah for him to look at a college that he really wants to go to. He wants to take up illustration design. Well, when I asked him why he didn't tell me, he simply said that he didn't want to hurt my feelings. This made me infuriated. The one time that he actually CONSIDERED my feelings before lying, it wouldn't have mattered. I would've been ecstatic for him. Pursuing his dream is nothing to feel hurt or get angry about. Out of all the times that he lied about cheating on me and looking at pornography he didn't consider my feelings. When it doesn't matter he does.
Finding out that he lied to me about this made me think and wonder what kind of girlfriend I must be for him to think that I would get angry or sad to find out that he wanted to go and visit a college. I must seriously be the most bothersome and hurtful girlfriend on the planet. I broke up with him and told him that now he can find a girl that will actually not fuss at him for grades, will do what he wants to do, and won't complain about stuff all the time because that seems to be all that I do.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Meh
Well, this past weekend was supposed to be great, but it slowly turned into a disaster.
On Friday, my brother, Michael, went on a church retreat for the weekend. That night, I went to Eli's for a while to hang out and watch TV.
On Saturday, I didn't really do too much but stay around the house. I went to the store with my Mom in my pijamas because I didn't even get dressed. After the day was gone, Eli came over for the evening. My family and I played a game called Sequence. It was a load of fun and we all enjoyed it. Then the bad part began. Eli and I were sitting on the couch and he started yawning. I like to mess with him sometimes and so I tickled him so that he couldn't get it out. Afterwards, he fussed at me and said that he doesn't want me to do that anymore because he "hates it when I do that". Well, whenever I complain about him doing something that I hate, he doesn't stop. He might for a while, but he just does it again eventually. When he fusses, I usually stop completely.
Well, then we got into a fight over the phone after he called to let me know that he was home safe. He explained that he was depressed from all of the things that have been happening to him lately and he was just very irritable. I told him that I understood that wrecking his truck was troublesome to him and that it was like losing a family member. He insisted that I didn't understand and so I said, "I know that you have put your life into that truck. You have put your heart and soul in it to make it completely yours. I understand what it's like to lose something like that." Of course I was referring to my Gamma who died in January 2008. He again didn't believe me and so he said, "It was like if you took Oreo out on a walk and someone came up and shot her". This threw me over the edge. I began to cry about how I did understand how it is to lose a family member more than he ever has or ever will. I told him that he doesn't know what it's like to know that the one thing you ever put your all into was dead. I finally ended with, "At least your truck came back to life" and we were quiet. He tried to apologize but I honestly didn't want to hear it. He had pushed it too far for me this time.
Sunday was the worst day of all. During the day, I was beginning my new art project. I needed a lime for my still life and my Mom was going to take me to the store. I called Eli and asked him to bring over his camera. He said that he would. He then began to apologize for the night before and I told him that I really didn't want to hear that over the phone and wanted to hear it in person for once. He came over and was on his way to the store anyways and so I went on with him to the store to get my lime. We had to go to PepBoys first for him to get a horn for his truck. The entire time over there, he didn't speak to me at all. I didn't speak either. When we were done there, he asked if I was ever going to say anything. I told him that I didn't have anything to say. When we sat back in the truck, he said he was sorry about everything.
We then went to the store and I bought my lime. He didn't attempt to apologize again.
After all of this, I found out that Oreo has gotten a huge gasp on her back right leg. I could only think of what Eli had said the previous night. We had to take her to a pet emergency room and let her get cleaned up and have stiches. I was unable to go because I had church. When I dropped Eli's and my art supplies off at his house, I hurried back home to see Oreo. Even after the 2 hours she'd been gone, she still wasn't back from the hospital. She finally got home an hour later and she was completely drugged. She came in the door and ran into walls and the floor with her cone. She kept her leg up so she didn't have to apply pressure to it.
I talked to Eli via phone again that night and I asked him if he thought that we were going to make it through this one. He said that he believed so because we had gotten through worse things. He asked me and I replied, "You can cheat on me and lie to me but this time you took it way too far".
I don't know if we're going to make it through this one. I love him and I want to be with him, but I really don't know if I can take this. What he did was hurtful beyond repair and I really don't know whether to love him anymore.
On Friday, my brother, Michael, went on a church retreat for the weekend. That night, I went to Eli's for a while to hang out and watch TV.
On Saturday, I didn't really do too much but stay around the house. I went to the store with my Mom in my pijamas because I didn't even get dressed. After the day was gone, Eli came over for the evening. My family and I played a game called Sequence. It was a load of fun and we all enjoyed it. Then the bad part began. Eli and I were sitting on the couch and he started yawning. I like to mess with him sometimes and so I tickled him so that he couldn't get it out. Afterwards, he fussed at me and said that he doesn't want me to do that anymore because he "hates it when I do that". Well, whenever I complain about him doing something that I hate, he doesn't stop. He might for a while, but he just does it again eventually. When he fusses, I usually stop completely.
Well, then we got into a fight over the phone after he called to let me know that he was home safe. He explained that he was depressed from all of the things that have been happening to him lately and he was just very irritable. I told him that I understood that wrecking his truck was troublesome to him and that it was like losing a family member. He insisted that I didn't understand and so I said, "I know that you have put your life into that truck. You have put your heart and soul in it to make it completely yours. I understand what it's like to lose something like that." Of course I was referring to my Gamma who died in January 2008. He again didn't believe me and so he said, "It was like if you took Oreo out on a walk and someone came up and shot her". This threw me over the edge. I began to cry about how I did understand how it is to lose a family member more than he ever has or ever will. I told him that he doesn't know what it's like to know that the one thing you ever put your all into was dead. I finally ended with, "At least your truck came back to life" and we were quiet. He tried to apologize but I honestly didn't want to hear it. He had pushed it too far for me this time.
Sunday was the worst day of all. During the day, I was beginning my new art project. I needed a lime for my still life and my Mom was going to take me to the store. I called Eli and asked him to bring over his camera. He said that he would. He then began to apologize for the night before and I told him that I really didn't want to hear that over the phone and wanted to hear it in person for once. He came over and was on his way to the store anyways and so I went on with him to the store to get my lime. We had to go to PepBoys first for him to get a horn for his truck. The entire time over there, he didn't speak to me at all. I didn't speak either. When we were done there, he asked if I was ever going to say anything. I told him that I didn't have anything to say. When we sat back in the truck, he said he was sorry about everything.
We then went to the store and I bought my lime. He didn't attempt to apologize again.
After all of this, I found out that Oreo has gotten a huge gasp on her back right leg. I could only think of what Eli had said the previous night. We had to take her to a pet emergency room and let her get cleaned up and have stiches. I was unable to go because I had church. When I dropped Eli's and my art supplies off at his house, I hurried back home to see Oreo. Even after the 2 hours she'd been gone, she still wasn't back from the hospital. She finally got home an hour later and she was completely drugged. She came in the door and ran into walls and the floor with her cone. She kept her leg up so she didn't have to apply pressure to it.
I talked to Eli via phone again that night and I asked him if he thought that we were going to make it through this one. He said that he believed so because we had gotten through worse things. He asked me and I replied, "You can cheat on me and lie to me but this time you took it way too far".
I don't know if we're going to make it through this one. I love him and I want to be with him, but I really don't know if I can take this. What he did was hurtful beyond repair and I really don't know whether to love him anymore.
Monday, March 9, 2009
Accepted!
The past week or so has been awesome. Two Sundays ago, it snowed and I got to miss two days of school. South Carolina had a full 4 inches of snow, which for us is an avalanche. In these two days, I helped to make two snowmen, had a huge snowball fight with my sister, Cassidy, and made snowangels with her as well.
On Wednesday, Eli and I went to the Bob Jones art gallery and worked on our Art History papers. That day, I received a letter with confirmation of my acceptance in Decatur.
The next day, I went to hang out with my friends Hunter, Justin, and Keith C.. I know that I had given up movies for Lent, but they had decided on watching a movie since Hunter would be going back to Massachusetts. We watched Into the Wild that night after my Chinese class at Furman.
On Friday, I got the top set of my braces. That night, I went with my friend David to see a play called How To Succeed In Business Without Ever Trying at Riverside High. It was hilarious and exactly the kind of play that I had hoped to see. There, I saw my friends Keith L., Michael, Christopher, Andrew, Matt, and Brooke. While I was at the play, Eli had come over to my house and played a few games with Cassidy.
Saturday, Eli called from work and asked if I would want to go downtown because it was so beautiful. He picked me up after work and we walked around downtown before deciding to eat at Mellow Mushroom. Now, with my braces, it was fiarly difficult to eat. I did, however, eat three pieces of cheese pizza, cut up, and a soft salty pretzel.
Sunday was Eli and my 34 month mark. We chose to celebrate via picnic by the Reedy River. When we finally parked downtown in the Bowater Parking Garage, we realized that there was an Irish festival going on. We were able to enjoy our picnic with the liveliness of downtown Greenville. After the picnic, I went to church and then on to his house for the Sunday night movie. For those of you who are wondering: during Lent, you are allowed to endulge yourself in your given up activity on Sundays. We watched Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist.
On Wednesday, Eli and I went to the Bob Jones art gallery and worked on our Art History papers. That day, I received a letter with confirmation of my acceptance in Decatur.
The next day, I went to hang out with my friends Hunter, Justin, and Keith C.. I know that I had given up movies for Lent, but they had decided on watching a movie since Hunter would be going back to Massachusetts. We watched Into the Wild that night after my Chinese class at Furman.
On Friday, I got the top set of my braces. That night, I went with my friend David to see a play called How To Succeed In Business Without Ever Trying at Riverside High. It was hilarious and exactly the kind of play that I had hoped to see. There, I saw my friends Keith L., Michael, Christopher, Andrew, Matt, and Brooke. While I was at the play, Eli had come over to my house and played a few games with Cassidy.
Saturday, Eli called from work and asked if I would want to go downtown because it was so beautiful. He picked me up after work and we walked around downtown before deciding to eat at Mellow Mushroom. Now, with my braces, it was fiarly difficult to eat. I did, however, eat three pieces of cheese pizza, cut up, and a soft salty pretzel.
Sunday was Eli and my 34 month mark. We chose to celebrate via picnic by the Reedy River. When we finally parked downtown in the Bowater Parking Garage, we realized that there was an Irish festival going on. We were able to enjoy our picnic with the liveliness of downtown Greenville. After the picnic, I went to church and then on to his house for the Sunday night movie. For those of you who are wondering: during Lent, you are allowed to endulge yourself in your given up activity on Sundays. We watched Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist.
Monday, February 23, 2009
This Weekend
So... lately Eli has just been having the short end of the stick. I'm not going to discuss last weekend, but it sucked and this past weekend everything has shot downhill.
It started with Eli leaving his Mom's house Saturday morning for work. About a mile or so later, he realized that his tailgate was wide open. When he stopped, he realized that his laptop was not in there. He turned around to go and look for it before it got destroyed. When he got on his way back, a car came out of nowhere and they crashed. His truck, which is his baby and his life, was hurt very badly. I can't tell you what's wrong with it, but I know that it is undrivable.
He never found his laptop, but we put up signs for anyone who might've found it. Then he found out that his truck had been towed to Palmetto Auto Repair. This is not the place he wanted to have it towed. He wanted to have it towed to Palmetto State Auto Repair. It was instead towed to the one that was all the way in Piedmont. The towing charge turned out to be a full $245.
With all of that, the next day, he realized that the officer had kept his liscense. With everything that happened, that seemed to top it off.
After all of the crazy stuff that happened, we have only received one call about the laptop, which didn't turn out to
It started with Eli leaving his Mom's house Saturday morning for work. About a mile or so later, he realized that his tailgate was wide open. When he stopped, he realized that his laptop was not in there. He turned around to go and look for it before it got destroyed. When he got on his way back, a car came out of nowhere and they crashed. His truck, which is his baby and his life, was hurt very badly. I can't tell you what's wrong with it, but I know that it is undrivable.
He never found his laptop, but we put up signs for anyone who might've found it. Then he found out that his truck had been towed to Palmetto Auto Repair. This is not the place he wanted to have it towed. He wanted to have it towed to Palmetto State Auto Repair. It was instead towed to the one that was all the way in Piedmont. The towing charge turned out to be a full $245.
With all of that, the next day, he realized that the officer had kept his liscense. With everything that happened, that seemed to top it off.
After all of the crazy stuff that happened, we have only received one call about the laptop, which didn't turn out to
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Atlanta?
This past weekend, which ended up being a 4-day weekend, was awesome. I want to go to college and major in animation. There is a private school that is namely The Art Institute. There are over 40 campuses and I talked to the Charlotte campus earlier in 2008, but they did not have the right major for me. After considering the Atlanta and Decatur campus, I finally came to the point where I could go for a visit. Eli has been interested in this school as well seeing as he wants to major in Graphic Design. We made an appointment to attend the 10 o'clock in the morning Open House on January 19 at The Art Institute of Atlanta-Decatur, which is in Decatur. We went down a day early to make sure that we could get to the campus easily. We arrived on the 18th and were able to walk to the campus within 5 minutes of the hotel we were staying at.
After finding the campus, we only walked behind the campus building to find the Marta. For those of you who don't know what the Marta is, it's simply a subway that goes underneath Atlanta. We got a card and hopped upon a Marta car and rode off toward downtown Atlanta. When we got there, we went straight to Underground Atlanta. This is a strip of shops underneath the streets of Atlanta. This was absolutely amazing. However, I must admit that I was little scared to be down there with so many people. While we were down there, Eli persuaded me to get inside a small photo booth. I had never been in one before so it was a new experience.
After going to the downtown Atlanta area, we went back to Decatur and ate dinner at Ruby Tuesdays. My parents walked around the city a bit more while Eli and I went back to the hotel to relax. It was only a few minutes before my parents got to the room and Eli and I had already turned on the news to watch the weather and gotten out some blankets and my teddie bear.
Eli and I decided after a few minutes to go swimming. What a mistake that was! The pool was indoors but still freezing. I, however didn't get in. Eli and I got in the pool room and it took me a bit longer to get down to my bathing suit. I asked him to wait for me, but he just had to jump right in. He jumped in to the 4 foot area and screamed of how freezing it was! He got out shivering and me laughing at his small spasms.
After our wonderful pool experience, we went back up to the room and got ready for bed. We laid together for a while before he went to another bed to sleep. In the morning, we left for the college Open House. Eli and I were answering and asking questions. His parents weren't able to make the trip, so he didn't apply that day, but I did. The school was very small and only took a floor of an office building. We toured the place and got an idea of the spaces we would be working in.
We toured some more of the Atlanta area via the Marta again. In this trip, there were two men who started a fight right above MY head!!! I was so scared that a gun was going to get pulled or someone was going to hit the other. Then we just got in the car a drove home.
After finding the campus, we only walked behind the campus building to find the Marta. For those of you who don't know what the Marta is, it's simply a subway that goes underneath Atlanta. We got a card and hopped upon a Marta car and rode off toward downtown Atlanta. When we got there, we went straight to Underground Atlanta. This is a strip of shops underneath the streets of Atlanta. This was absolutely amazing. However, I must admit that I was little scared to be down there with so many people. While we were down there, Eli persuaded me to get inside a small photo booth. I had never been in one before so it was a new experience.
After going to the downtown Atlanta area, we went back to Decatur and ate dinner at Ruby Tuesdays. My parents walked around the city a bit more while Eli and I went back to the hotel to relax. It was only a few minutes before my parents got to the room and Eli and I had already turned on the news to watch the weather and gotten out some blankets and my teddie bear.
Eli and I decided after a few minutes to go swimming. What a mistake that was! The pool was indoors but still freezing. I, however didn't get in. Eli and I got in the pool room and it took me a bit longer to get down to my bathing suit. I asked him to wait for me, but he just had to jump right in. He jumped in to the 4 foot area and screamed of how freezing it was! He got out shivering and me laughing at his small spasms.
After our wonderful pool experience, we went back up to the room and got ready for bed. We laid together for a while before he went to another bed to sleep. In the morning, we left for the college Open House. Eli and I were answering and asking questions. His parents weren't able to make the trip, so he didn't apply that day, but I did. The school was very small and only took a floor of an office building. We toured the place and got an idea of the spaces we would be working in.
We toured some more of the Atlanta area via the Marta again. In this trip, there were two men who started a fight right above MY head!!! I was so scared that a gun was going to get pulled or someone was going to hit the other. Then we just got in the car a drove home.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Can I Have This Dance
Let me start out by saying that I've always had this crazy wish to be able to dance really well. This song that I'm about to go over compares dancing to love. I know that it might be stupid to some of you that this particular song is from High School Musical 3.
Can I Have This Dance
Take my hand, take a breath
Pull me close and take one step
Keep your eyes locked on mine,
And let the music be your guide.
Won't you promise me
(now won't you promise me, that you'll never forget)
We'll keep dancing
(to keep dancing)
wherever we go next
It's like catching lightning the chances of finding someone like you
It's one in a million, the chances of feeling the way we do
And with every step together, we just keep on getting better
So can I have this dance
(can I have this dance)
Can I have this dance
Take my hand, I'll take the lead
And every turn will be safe with me
Don't be afraid, afraid to fall
You know I'll catch you through it all
And you can't keep us apart
(even a thousand miles, can't keep us apart)
'Cause my heart is
(cause my heart is)
wherever you are
It's like catching lightning the chances of finding someone like you
It's one in a million, the chances of feeling the way we do
And with every step together, we just keep on getting better
So can I have this dance
(can I have this dance)
Can I have this dance
Oh no mountains too high and no oceans too wide
'Cause together or not, our dance won't stop
Let it rain, let it pour
What we have is worth fighting for
You know I believe, that we were meant to be
It's like catching lightning the chances of finding someone like you
(like you)
It's one in a million, the chances of feeling the way we do
(way we do)
And with every step together, we just keep on getting better
So can I have this dance
(can I have this dance)
Can I have this dance
Can I have this dance
Can I have this dance
Now this is sung by the two main characters Troy(Zac Efron) and Gabriella(Vanessa Hudgens). They describe that each step of love and life is like a step in a dance. You might have to do it several times, but each time it gets better. They keep asking each other "Can I have this dance?" and this is saying that they want to be part of the others dance or life. Troy says that's Gabriella shouldn't be afraid to fall and that he'll catch her. The chorus is very true about lighting and the chance of finding the true love that they have found. The dance won't end even when they are apart because as long as they play a role in the other's life, the dance will continue until the end.
As for the vocals, I know that alot of it can be altered, but I think that the couple sings very well together. Their voices match each other in harmony and that's a good thing. Especially since in the movie, they're supposed to be in true love. The music is very thought out. They have thunder rolling in the background for the role of lighting and rain mentioned throughout the song. The acoustic guitar is very distinct to keep the beat in there. Strings are introduced slowly into the song and it's almost unheard because it just creeps in there. The piano really plays for the trickling of rain. It's just small keys played here and there and they are high notes played.
I find this song quite inspiring. It's funny how some of these songs can come in the silliest forms.
Can I Have This Dance
Take my hand, take a breath
Pull me close and take one step
Keep your eyes locked on mine,
And let the music be your guide.
Won't you promise me
(now won't you promise me, that you'll never forget)
We'll keep dancing
(to keep dancing)
wherever we go next
It's like catching lightning the chances of finding someone like you
It's one in a million, the chances of feeling the way we do
And with every step together, we just keep on getting better
So can I have this dance
(can I have this dance)
Can I have this dance
Take my hand, I'll take the lead
And every turn will be safe with me
Don't be afraid, afraid to fall
You know I'll catch you through it all
And you can't keep us apart
(even a thousand miles, can't keep us apart)
'Cause my heart is
(cause my heart is)
wherever you are
It's like catching lightning the chances of finding someone like you
It's one in a million, the chances of feeling the way we do
And with every step together, we just keep on getting better
So can I have this dance
(can I have this dance)
Can I have this dance
Oh no mountains too high and no oceans too wide
'Cause together or not, our dance won't stop
Let it rain, let it pour
What we have is worth fighting for
You know I believe, that we were meant to be
It's like catching lightning the chances of finding someone like you
(like you)
It's one in a million, the chances of feeling the way we do
(way we do)
And with every step together, we just keep on getting better
So can I have this dance
(can I have this dance)
Can I have this dance
Can I have this dance
Can I have this dance
Now this is sung by the two main characters Troy(Zac Efron) and Gabriella(Vanessa Hudgens). They describe that each step of love and life is like a step in a dance. You might have to do it several times, but each time it gets better. They keep asking each other "Can I have this dance?" and this is saying that they want to be part of the others dance or life. Troy says that's Gabriella shouldn't be afraid to fall and that he'll catch her. The chorus is very true about lighting and the chance of finding the true love that they have found. The dance won't end even when they are apart because as long as they play a role in the other's life, the dance will continue until the end.
As for the vocals, I know that alot of it can be altered, but I think that the couple sings very well together. Their voices match each other in harmony and that's a good thing. Especially since in the movie, they're supposed to be in true love. The music is very thought out. They have thunder rolling in the background for the role of lighting and rain mentioned throughout the song. The acoustic guitar is very distinct to keep the beat in there. Strings are introduced slowly into the song and it's almost unheard because it just creeps in there. The piano really plays for the trickling of rain. It's just small keys played here and there and they are high notes played.
I find this song quite inspiring. It's funny how some of these songs can come in the silliest forms.
10 days
In just 10 more days, my life will have been eternally changed for a complete year. It has changed alot throughout the year. As most know, my Gamma died in January 2008. The hit was awful. I don't think anything has, or ever will, wake me up more than the moment I heard that she passed away. The following months were full of regret and blame. I didn't think of it too much during my first semester of college, but during the Christmas break, it started to hit me harder than ever.
Throughout the year, I would drop by the graveyard and sit by her headstone and talk to her. Most of it was apologies for not doing enough or talk of recent events. I pray every night hoping that God will send her back in some way, even for just a minute. Just to see her again for a second would really mean the world to me. If we could have a short conversation for me to tell her that I love her and to know that she forgives me and still loves me.
I don't know what else to really do. I wait for her to come and see me. Sometimes I feel her and hear her. Sometimes I think that I see her, but I know that it's not her that I see.
I'm beginning to realize that I can't go to her house. I can't run inside to hug her before all of my siblings. I can't smell the aroma of her outstanding cooking. I can't help her wash dishes or dirty them up. I will never taste her southern sweet tea again. I can't help her put up her Christmas tree next year. I can't buy her another present for any holiday. I can't spend the night at her house anymore and awaken to the smell of her scrambled eggs and sausage, which I never ate.
When I ask to see her again, I tell myself that I'm not scared, but when I really think about it, I think that I am. I'm so afraid that I would not be forgiven or loved. I want to see her so badly, but I don't know if I could take it emotionally. It may sound crazy, but I want to see her, but only just to see her. Maybe for her to flash me a smile and maybe give me a hug, and not say anything. I don't know what would be better.
Throughout the year, I would drop by the graveyard and sit by her headstone and talk to her. Most of it was apologies for not doing enough or talk of recent events. I pray every night hoping that God will send her back in some way, even for just a minute. Just to see her again for a second would really mean the world to me. If we could have a short conversation for me to tell her that I love her and to know that she forgives me and still loves me.
I don't know what else to really do. I wait for her to come and see me. Sometimes I feel her and hear her. Sometimes I think that I see her, but I know that it's not her that I see.
I'm beginning to realize that I can't go to her house. I can't run inside to hug her before all of my siblings. I can't smell the aroma of her outstanding cooking. I can't help her wash dishes or dirty them up. I will never taste her southern sweet tea again. I can't help her put up her Christmas tree next year. I can't buy her another present for any holiday. I can't spend the night at her house anymore and awaken to the smell of her scrambled eggs and sausage, which I never ate.
When I ask to see her again, I tell myself that I'm not scared, but when I really think about it, I think that I am. I'm so afraid that I would not be forgiven or loved. I want to see her so badly, but I don't know if I could take it emotionally. It may sound crazy, but I want to see her, but only just to see her. Maybe for her to flash me a smile and maybe give me a hug, and not say anything. I don't know what would be better.
Friday, January 2, 2009
Christmas and Daytona
My Christmas was pretty amazing. My family's house was the place to be this year and I had fun with it all. I got to give Eli his awesome truck model that I made myself and he loved it! The next morning was Christmas and it was great. I got some new Willow Tree collectibles and I was so happy because I got most of the nativity set. I got some new PJs that I love. I also got an electric razor and some new sunglasses. It was great to get some of these things. Also, I took all of the guys their presents except for Keith because he's in New York. I got a Clay Aiken bobblehead from Hunter. Hunter got back from Clark University and had surgery in his mouth and it was great to see him and his slightly swollen lips.
A few days after Christmas, my Mom, Standish, Michael, Cassidy and I went to Daytona Beach to spend a few nights with my Uncle Larry and his son, my cousin, Josh. Larry has a place right on the beach and so it was great. Cassidy and I woke up every morning to go out on to the beach and watch the sun rise and then hunt sea shells. We found a good many good ones. All of us went to an arcade while we were down there and it was awesome. Josh and I played DDR pretty much the whole time and it was awesome. I made 2 small sand 'sculptures' because I'm scared of going in the ocean. I did, however go to about one foot in the ocean. Only to get some good shells though. Larry got me into some really good songs that I will write about in another blog later on.
When I got back, it was New Year's Eve and only about an hour til the Times Square Ball dropped. Eli made his way over here for a few small fireworks and the tiny party (if you would even call it that) that we had. The next day, Eli and I went and spent the day together. We went to Toys R Us and the movies to see The Tale of Despereaux. After that, we went back to his Dad's house and played Timesplitters. I lost most of the time, but that's ok. We were going to watch 'Jeopardy' but it didn't come on. Anyways, that's all that's really been happening lately.
KNZ
A few days after Christmas, my Mom, Standish, Michael, Cassidy and I went to Daytona Beach to spend a few nights with my Uncle Larry and his son, my cousin, Josh. Larry has a place right on the beach and so it was great. Cassidy and I woke up every morning to go out on to the beach and watch the sun rise and then hunt sea shells. We found a good many good ones. All of us went to an arcade while we were down there and it was awesome. Josh and I played DDR pretty much the whole time and it was awesome. I made 2 small sand 'sculptures' because I'm scared of going in the ocean. I did, however go to about one foot in the ocean. Only to get some good shells though. Larry got me into some really good songs that I will write about in another blog later on.
When I got back, it was New Year's Eve and only about an hour til the Times Square Ball dropped. Eli made his way over here for a few small fireworks and the tiny party (if you would even call it that) that we had. The next day, Eli and I went and spent the day together. We went to Toys R Us and the movies to see The Tale of Despereaux. After that, we went back to his Dad's house and played Timesplitters. I lost most of the time, but that's ok. We were going to watch 'Jeopardy' but it didn't come on. Anyways, that's all that's really been happening lately.
KNZ
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